Are you constantly making contacts yet never following up? Do you search on LinkedIn, connect with people, and never talk to them again? Do you add people to your Facebook and don’t even know them without plans to ever reach out? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to seriously look into questioning if you’re a “false networker.”
What is this “false networker” that I just described? I would describe a “false networker” as someone who only seeks to keep points on the score board, keep their cell phone filled with numbers, and not actually creating lasting friendship via networking. False networking is the new scheme of the Internet world along with networking events, and I will take no parts of such a move.
What happened to that personal touch that the “old school” taught? It seems at times that we don’t truly sale ourselves nor understand what it is to be a true business woman or man. Today, you can walk into some stores and no one speaks to you. No, “Good morning, how are you?” Just take your money and run type of attitudes. I prefer to pay more for someone to help me, and create a personal connection then to go for the “cheap price without service.” I will spare you the list of stores on either side because the list would be long as we all have our experiences. Out of the list, it is sure to show that regardless the size of a company, you can still hold that personal touch, but must instill within your employees.
I write about loyalty, honesty, and being humble with compassion. When someone request to be my friend on Facebook, connect via LinkedIn, or follow me on Twitter…you better believe I am checking out their profile. The less they have up, the less likely I am to connect with someone. In addition, if I do not know you personally, I will send a message asking, “How you found out about me or what is your purpose for this connection? The “false networkers” never reply.
Why do I ask those questions? I guess I come from the “old school” of thought. I do not look into the numbers yet the quality of connections. Personally, I enjoy getting to know people because as I write in my book, “We all have a story to share which we can learn.” And to learn is what I want; it makes me the person I am today. We as consumers have to stop buying from companies which sell services yet do not have customer service, it makes no sense. One of the guest and I at a networking event spoke on this very topic, it is plain marketing; getting to know your customer ensures you know what to sell them. Bring home to your employees that the bottom line although an essential element, it is not the only driving motivator.
So, let’s answer the question why do people involve themselves in “false networking” it is simple, to appear popular. The old high school mentality which says, Popularity = Happiness, whatever I say Quality = Satisfaction to customers any day of the week.
With the world economy in the presence stance, the pressure is on. Many people think that with popularity they will gain the call from an employer. I say, that is a slippery slope my friend which is not the true path to success. Popularity does not solve the “Are you truly qualified?” question yet might raise more. Be careful to not fall into “false networking” as I suggest.
Have I fallen into the trap of “false networking” sure, I think we all have been a victim. Now, I refuse to add people to my LinkedIn account which I can tell are “false networkers” only to hold a number on my connections. It seems LinkedIn is filled with networking groups, mostly good, yet others which only assist in gaining the 500+ connections to make their profile look spectacular. “WOW, Look at her Facebook page, she has over 1,000 friends” yet the real question is, “Do all those friends truly support you?” I wrote prior, support is truly priceless. There are talkers and doers. I personally do a little talking yet a lot of doing. All my doing doesn’t pay off but as my grandmother use to tell me, “Nothing beats a failure but a try.” You will never know if you do not try. I say, “You’re guaranteed to get nothing if you do nothing.” What category do you fall into?
I’ve found that “false networking” gets you and the people you add nowhere fast. The lesson here is to ensure you engage yourself in “real or true networking.” Truly sad we have to define the difference but essential we understand. I guess I will put on my LinkedIn and other pages, “Real/True Networker” or RTN for short.
If you want someone who truly means, “If there is anything I can do to help, reach out?” Then add me to your Facebook, LinkedIn, or follow me on Twitter. I mean what I say, and say what I mean. I must admit, I tend to get a bit busy yet follow up with every email personally in due time, be patient as it takes time to get through them all.
Now, let’s connect and truly network.
Please post any of your experiences or thoughts in the comments section. We would love to hear your take.
About the author: The Dieng Group, she aids organizations and individuals with webinars and workshops, strategic strategy sessions that avail high level business consultations, research, drafting, and negotiations. Regardless of your business size or needs, she can aid with cost effective measures in most disciplines that off set her fees, therefore enabling cost saving tactics.
Contact: The Dieng Group
Website: www.nefferittidieng.com
Email: info@nefferittidieng.com
Phone: 201-674-6936
Your article is on point and addresses a concern/challenge that appear to be very prevelant (sp) on social medial sites in addition to phone calls I’ve received under the pretense of seeking my services, when they really wanted “free” information. Yes, we need to differentiate RTN from false pretenses and understand the difference.
My favorite question is “How can I be of service to you?. The spoken and more importantly, the unspoken response will tell the RTN the majority of the time.
Thanks for putting this out into the universe and with your permission I’d like to share it with my blog readers and facebook fans.
~Johnetta
PS
It was difficult to leave a comment and make corrections. I couldn’t figure out what was causing the problem.~J
Hey Johnetta,
Not sure what is going on. I will explore and see if I can resolve. Thanks so much for letting me know.
Sylvia
Johnetta,
I’m pleased you enjoyed the article. Networking etiquette is essential for real connections to unfold.
By the way, you are more than welcome to use my article on your blog with the appropriate citations and contact information for my organization. Send me a quick email and I’ll reply with the formatted copy. If any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me directly.
Warm regards,
Nefferitti Dieng
The Dieng Group
http://www.thedienggroup.com
Man, this was the kick in the rear that I needed. for months now I have been weeding through my list and doing exactly that removing those that added me but have not talked to me and vice-versa. It seems it is easily to get wrapped up in the moment and want to play the numbers game. It looked good to me to have almost 5K friends on face book but I was not connecting with many of them. So my first sweep was anyone that did not have a face I removed them unless I truly know them personally. Then I had some duplicate accounts which I then deleted one and kept one. However, I started trying to connect with people and change my own aloof ways and that is when I found that I had just been a notch in the belt for some so I started getting rid of them too. I realized I am apart of several networks that I don’t even grace on the internet. This means I started the account because someone said it was the thing to do but I never went back to update or stay active. The shame I feel is that I have to realize that I am the false networked because I was satisfied to run here and there trying to seem like I was in the know but I was not making any real connections unless I kind of fell into them. It seems I am on the right path and on my way to recovery now. This article lets me know that taking the time to get to know people online is the better way to go even if it seems time consuming. People want to know that you care and that they are as important as the things you are doing. I tried to correct some of my typos but it will not let me so I am sorry that there are several in this response but I did want to let you know I did truly enjoy this article and I will do much better. Thanks for your candor.
Hey Linda,
So nice to see you enjoying my blog. I appreciate your presence. I love your story and I think we all at some time become false networker, just going thru the motions. When we can take time and correct our actions… make it right… by truly connecting – partnering – and building relationships, will truly make a difference. Yes, it takes time, but worth it both personally and professionally.
Sylvia