First of all, what is marriage? Is it simply walking down the aisle and marrying the man of your dreams? Is it just the fact of being married and spending the rest of your life with one man? Marriage is all the above and much more. It is a ministry in itself. It is definitely not about selfish fulfillment. Marriage is more of you giving rather than you taking.
Maybe you started your marriage fresh and head over heels in love with him, but now things have become stale. Maybe you are now asking yourself if there can ever be a revival in your marriage. Maybe your intimacy has lost all its spontaneity and your love has become uncreative. Maybe he doesn’t always seem to be in touch with where you are. So what do you do now? Do you give up and let yourselves drift apart day by day, or do you take a stand to try and save your marriage?
When you decided to accept your husband’s marriage proposal, you accepted to marry an imperfect person. You knew then that he was not perfect and that he will never be. You agreed to marry everything he is and everything else he has been before you came along. You inherited all his strengths, his fears and his weaknesses. Marriage is a package deal my friend, and you simply cannot just pick out the parts you want and leave the ones you don’t. You either take it all or nothing.
Your husband will always have a little boy inside him, and God will give you the grace to minister to that child inside. Healing is a process beloved. Even the smallest cut takes time to heal. If you wait on God, He will certainly give you the oil of compassion and the sweet wine of sincere love to pour into your husband’s wounds and your own, and heal your marriage in the process.
The ministry of marriage is a serious ministry. Paul teaches us married women not to be too spiritual that we cannot attend to our ministry of marriage. (1 Corinthians 7:33-34) That tells us that God wants us to be concerned in pleasing our husbands and vice versa. Sisters, our ministry as a wife is not in the mall, not in the nursing home, but in our own homes and to our own husbands. Our priorities need to start at home with him and then spread to other life’s issues.
Decorating the house of marriage is our responsibility. That being said, it does not mean that you will not have time for God because you have to attend to your husband’s needs first. God will never release your from your relationship with Him, he only sets some priorities which you must adhere to. He wants you be committed to Him as well as be a companion to your husband.
Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.
Marriage can be very difficult at times my sister. It has been said before that marriage is not for the faint-hearted. But you know what? Marriage is for everyone. God saw that it was not good for Adam to be alone, so He made the first marriage ceremony ever to be recorded in the history of mankind. He wants to bless your marriage, but first you must allow Him to heal you so that you can minister to your husband effectively. You can bring the love, the joy, the laughter back into your marriage if you only let God help you.
The devil will try his utmost best to rob you of the joy of being married. He will bring along all kinds of problems between you and your husband just to break up your marriage. He will tell you that your husband is not good enough, that he is seeing someone else, that you made a mistake the day you married him, he is not the one for you, he is not handsome enough, etc.
Beloved, ask yourself these questions. The first time you met your husband and you started dating him, was he handsome? Did you think that he was good enough for you then? Did he make you laugh? Did he give you a sense of purpose? Did he make you feel special? Did he make you feel safe? Were you happy just to be at his side? If you answer yes to all these questions, then ask yourself this one. What has happened that has made you grow apart?
Shifting the blame will not fix anything. As wives, God has given us the ability to settle problems in our marriage. If when situations arise you do not sit down together to discuss them, but instead you both start to blame each other, then the devil will get a foothold on your marriage. He will make the situation look even worse than it is. He will bring all kinds of nasty thoughts to your head. Beloved, the best solution to save your marriage is not in the hands of a marriage counselor. It is in your own hands.
How do you do that? Simply, keep showing him your love. Show him your appreciation for something good that he has done. Show him your respect. Keep praying for him. Trying to change him will not do you any good. It will simply make the problem even worse. You cannot change anyone. Leave him in the hands of God. He alone has the power to change your husband.
Where has all the love gone? What has happened that has made your marriage fail? What do you do now? Is divorce a better solution? Beloved, the bible says that God hates divorce. I know that it is a trend in the world today. People get married and divorce like it is nothing. But that is not what God intended for your marriage. He loves the ministry of marriage, which is why He created it in the first place.
What about your children? Don’t you think they would be happier growing up with both mum and dad by their side? Is it not a strain on them when they see you both fighting and arguing all the time? Why do they have to go back and forth between parents when they can easily live with both of you together? Sisters, God wants to save your marriage. He wants to bring that love and intimacy back. Communication is a great part of saving your marriage.
Let God heal you today beloved, and then you can bring that healing along with you into your marriage. You cannot make anyone happy unless you are already happy. Your husband is counting on you. Your children are counting on you. Arise today sisters, and take your place as the wife that God made you to be. Bring revival in your marriage.
About Author: C.L. Leon is the author of the book “Daughters of the King”, which targets many different issues that women are facing today. It empowers women to take control of their lives and stand up for themselves. The book is available for immediate download on Amazon Kindle.