“Stop crying and dry your eyes!” That is what my manager told me over 20 years ago after I blurted out in an ugly blubbering cry that I felt trapped in my secretary position. I thought that I would never get to show that company, any company that I could do more than what I was doing. I was smart, I could do more than type and I wanted to do something bigger and better.
Various periods over the last 20 years, I wanted to cry and scream out the same thing. I felt trapped in relationships, jobs, with coworkers, family, on projects, business situations, commitments, and all sorts of obligations that my moral self would not let me just walk away from because it was “just not right.” That is what I told myself.
Feeling trapped is an emotion. That is right. It is not strategic. It is not some complex issue that needs a ton of highly-educated, high-priced professionals to take 8 months or 8 years of your life to get you untrapped. It is a feeling and emotion that can make you rich or keep you broke. You have emotional capital that you have total control over.
What are you going to do with it?
You are unhappy with your business, transitioning to your business, or maybe it is personal and affecting your ability to make money. You need to take “inventory” of your emotional capital and decide what the “accounting” is telling you. I can tell you before you get started that your level of unhappiness connects with your level of being emotionally broke.
Don’t worry, I am not going to life coach you. I want you to understand that a happy business owner attracts happy employees and opens more doors simply because of your attitude. And yes, when you are having a good day, you need to fake it until you reach that happy place again.
Think of all the time and energy you exert being unhappy, complaining, not moving forward, calling others to rant and vent, pouting, sitting and doing nothing, eating Ben and Jerry’s or Haagen Dazs, shopping, or whatever it is you do when you are unhappy. Now do me one favor, if you don’t do another thing.
Say out loud to yourself, “The time I was ________ when I was unhappy, I could have been doing ________.”
How do you feel? Were you able to finish the sentence? Did it hurt? Did you want to crawl under a rock? What did you say to yourself, right after you said that statement? Now don’t get emotionally paralyzed on me. It is not as deep as you think it is.
I know it is hard to be optimistic and resilient or inspired when you feel drained and generally like crap. We have all been like Snow White and bit into the apple of life and became sick with what life dealt us. We became victims overnight and it may have been a roller coaster or just a downward spiral. The real deal is, you need to rescue you. No one is coming with that unhappy cloud over your head.
You need to decide to change the emotional capital you want to deposit in the bank. Take control and drive your level of happiness by acquiring your new mindset. It doesn’t take 8 years and for it to stick, it may take more than 8 days, but it is time to turn the light on and then shine it all over the place.
Before I go, let me give you 5 words for you to keep in mind. Self-reliance, self-confidence, optimistic, resilience, and passion: They all work together to build up your emotional capital.